Without God, we are all helpless
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Helpless on our own

Yesterday was a bit rough around our house. It started as a great day. Brad was off due to the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday, and we had fun things planned – a birthday lunch, some errands, and just spending time together, (imagine ~ a conversation without kids…). It was going to be so wonderful and relaxing!

But first, the driveway needed to be shoveled.

I heard him call my name from outside. Instantly, alarm bells went off in my head. I ‘ran’ as fast as I could to the door and looked out to see him lying at the bottom of our sloped driveway.

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Who determines this answer - The World or God?
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I should be…

Should?

So many times I think I would like to be the creative type. You know this person. The one who can MacGyver a piece of twine, a few berries, and a candle into the most beautiful holiday tablescape you can imagine. Sometimes I can pull something off, but let’s just say I’ll never have my own Etsy shop…

Yet, every time I see a post about someone’s craft store or a new little creation that somebody made, I feel this pull. Like, I should be able to do that, right? Or, maybe if I worked a lot harder I could get that skill?

When I was younger, I would have said, ‘Absolutely!’ But, now that I am a little older, (and hopefully a bit wiser), I now realize that I don’t think that’s how God made me.

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Silence Resolved

Silence

For more months than I would like to admit, that’s what God heard from me. Not complete silence, but compared to how I had been communicating with Him before, I’m thinking He noticed. I know I did.

In the beginning of December, I had back surgery. It was one of those things that was inevitable at some point. And, I had tried every single conservative option – at least once. So, when I was offered the date of December 8th, I figured I could hide my very fashionable back brace (a requirement until March 8 – but who’s counting?) under sweaters, I took it.

If you look back at the posts on this blog, you’ll notice that the last time I posted was on The Birthday of our Baptism. Yep. That was in October. It has been 85 days since I wrote anything. 85 days!

Granted, over the last month I have been recovering from a pretty major surgery – and, celebrating one of the best Christmases I have EVER had – but that still leaves about 55.  And even that is a big number.  I’m having a hard time getting past it…

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Baptism
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The Birthday of our Baptism

Today makes one year.

One year following the conclusion of my preliminary studies of the Bible.  You know — the ones that made me realize I had a lot more studying to do.

12 months since I wrote my letter to God – telling Him why I wanted to be baptized.

365 days since I publicly declared, “Jesus is Lord.”

Today is Brad’s and my Spiritual Birthday – or Birthday of our Baptism…

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Let Go Let God
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Let Go – Let God

Let go and let God.  I know it’s a saying that can be overused.  But, it’s a pretty important thing to remember.  If we truly have faith and believe that God’s got this and He is in control, then why would we need to hang on?  If we do it for show, and just say that God is in control, but try to be a puppet master behind the scenes, then that’s really all it is – a show.  Deep down we know it definitely wasn’t us.

We aren’t strong enough, or – let’s face it – smart enough to solve problems the way God can.  Way too many times I find myself getting in God’s way trying to control and guide a situation.  I wonder how many times my trying and my attempt at controlling something actually causes more work for God in the end…  (If you have kids, you know how that one usually turns out.)

How frustrated should God be with me?  I can just see Him shaking His head, with a sort of half-smile and a bit of sadness in His eyes, because this was supposed to be the time I actually submitted…

If I were Him, I would have put me in a time-out years ago… I thank Him every day for His patience.

Turns out, I have a really hard time letting go.

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