It’s my birthday and I woke up to a, “Happy Birthday!” from Brad and the kids, calls from my mom and dad, texts from friends on my phone, and messages on my Facebook page.  How can it be anything but a great day?!?

Ah, Birthdays!

Remember when you were younger and you would look forward to your birthday almost as if it were another Christmas? When does that change? I think my first hard birthday was when I turned 30. Both of our kids were just babies (Elle was just three months old) and we went out to dinner – ALONE!

Dinner was great! It was all the people coming up to me and telling me that 30 was harder for them than 40…that was the rough part.  I remember going home that night and thinking about everything that had happened in my life up until that day.  I came back to the present feeling really blessed.

Fast-forward 10 years to my 40th. We were living in Florida and had decided to move back to Wisconsin.  I only had a little over a week to pack up the house, so on my birthday I was surrounded by moving boxes! Now, that wasn’t a bad thing.  In fact, I never wanted to make a super huge deal out of turning 40.  I didn’t feel over the hill, and I was so excited about what was going on in our family.

And now, another year has passed…

Looking back over my 40th year, I still can’t believe all of the changes! Moving across the country (again!), new job for Brad, no job for me, new schools for the kids, selling a house, buying a house, finding a new church, getting baptized, and the list goes on and on… We talked about it as a family this past weekend, and – although so much happened – we know it was all according to His plan.

One of my favorite verses is one my grandma used to say to me all the time…

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”            Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

We are surrounded by this verse in our house.  Spencer has a sailboat with it engraved on the sail, my best friend in Florida gave me a chalkboard on which she had written it, (and I can’t bring myself to change it!), it has been my screen saver on all my devices, and it keeps coming up over and over again.

Knowing that, it might be hard to believe one of my biggest challenges as a Christian is giving up control. I know it is not mine to have, but it is so difficult for me to accept that.  Maybe that’s why I have this verse on my wall, and my phone, and my iPad, and all levels of this house… I need to keep focused on the fact that He has a plan.  I’m not sure why I still challenge it – everything has worked out great so far!  In fact, I know – beyond a shadow of a doubt – there is no way I could have imagined, let alone scripted, things to turn out as well as they have.

This year?

So, maybe this is my year.  Maybe I will finally accept that God really does have the greatest plan – the only plan for me – and I should just submit. (For reals this time…) Maybe I have finally reached the age of maturity that will allow me to step back and let Him take over.

I think I just came up with my birthday wish for when I blow out the candles.  Don’t tell anyone – I really want it to come true…