Some of you have probably been wondering about the weekly updates (or lack thereof) for our Family Meetings.  Well, I am going to ask you to refer to the tagline of this site, Our family’s journey to find faith and joy.  (Emphasis on the word, journey.)

Like everyone else, we were busier and had more abbreviated Family Meetings lately.  Some were held in the car; others, over dinner.  Did we talk as a family? Absolutely.  Were they effective? Not so much…

What were we missing?

Real time together

As I said, we talked and went over schedules in a car or over dinner – if at all.  Now, I’m not saying that it doesn’t count if we don’t get together in a specific place and time.  But, by calling it a Family Meeting and setting aside time to meet around the dining room table, it becomes real.
It becomes something to take seriously and put effort into. It becomes part of our Sunday night routine that we all look forward to.
It becomes a priority.

Good communication

During our break from the true Family Meeting, we all knew the main ideas of the sermons but we never really talked about them.  We would go over a couple of points and some bible verses that went along with them, but a lot was missing.  Then, we would go over the weekly schedule and figure out who would be where and when – and then it was over… At times it felt as though we were checking off the box for having a Family Meeting for the week.  Not really how Brad and I really envisioned it would go.

Intimacy as a family

This was probably the most noticeable thing that was missing in our family.  I hadn’t realized to what extent until I listened to Joel’s sermon yesterday.  It was on Experiencing God as Father.  One of the points he talked about was how we needed to become like children in our relationship with God.  In Matthew 18:3, the disciples asked Jesus who was the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.  This was his reply:

And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”  Matthew 18:3

In other words, we need to rely on God as if we were little children.  Be completely dependent upon Him because independence kills intimacy.  Those three words really convicted me.  Not only in my relationship with God, but also my relationships with Brad and the kids.

Now don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t as if we were just passing by each other in the hallway and not acknowledging each other.  But, we weren’t talking about how we were really doing or feeling about what was going on in our lives.  We were going through the motions of school and dinner and homework and sports and even church – but we weren’t talking about it.  We were keeping our thoughts and ideas to ourselves, and that independence led to us not feeling as close as we had been.

What do we do now?

Spend good time together and talk 

Just like we can grow intimacy with God by spending time in His Word and focusing on Him, we can regain it with our family by spending good time with them.  Focused on them.  Not sitting next to them watching TV or a movie, or a quick, ‘How was your day?’  Nope.  We do it by actually talking to them and asking for their thoughts and ideas and really listening.

Have our Family Meeting

We need to prioritize our weekly Family Meeting.  Just like I wrote in “Date Your Spouse,” if we want these times to happen, we need to get it on the calendar! We are still working out the kinks of how we want it to go and how to get the most out of our time together, but we’ll get there.
After all, it is a journey, so I’m not expecting it to happen immediately.

Your thoughts

What do you think?  Have you ever tried having a Family Meeting?  What have you found that has worked well or that has been a challenge?  I can’t wait to hear from you!